Even you
by newgame
Summary: Provenza and Sharon have a talk...


"Even you…"

Sharon stopped dead on her tracks, looked at Provenza who was shaking his head though he didn't even look at her.

"Even I what?"

"Even you deserve better."

Sharon looked from the man who was just leaving the murder squad room to the one who was sitting at his desk, pretending she wasn't there although she was standing right beside him and he was talking to her.

Tiredly, Sharon took off her glasses, rubbed her temple with her free hand.

"It's a long story and Jack… he's not all bad. He's got his good sides."

Sometimes. They had had their good times, and she had always known they weren't really compatible, had married him in spite of knowing better. Jack wasn't blameless by far but she hadn't been in this with blind eyes either.

Why was she even trying to defend herself? She realized a long minute had passed, that Provenza was looking at her now.

"If you ask me, which of course you don't, I'd say he isn't worth a single thought, a single moment of your time."

Sharon looked around the room, realized Provenza and she were the last ones at work… again. She sat down on the desk opposite of him, put on her glasses once more.

"Alright. Is there something I should be aware of? For all I know you don't know my husband and thus shouldn't have formed such a strong opinion about him. Not that this has ever stopped you before."

She waited for yet another barb, and true to himself Provenza opened his mouth only to close it again. He leaned back in his chair, giving her a long look, making her feel uncomfortable under his scrutiny. She didn't react, waited, although it was the cop and not the woman who managed to remain utterly still.

"Okay, here's the deal and you may believe me or not," Provenza said at long last.

"I…"

Provenza held up his hand.

"No, let me tell my story first. Seeing that you seem to think your husband's on the road to sainthood after all, you might not believe me anyway."

Sharon gave everyone the benefit of a doubt, something even Provenza should have learned by now, although it seemed less hard for him to put his contempt for her to the side for the most part nowadays.

"It's been… almost twenty years since I saw Jack Raydor last."

"You know Jack?"

"Yeah, although I doubt he knows me. You see… I had just divorced my second wife… Sharon."

He gave her a wry smile which she didn't return.

"I went to a bar to get drunk and to get laid."

At least he didn't begin mincing words. With a sinking feeling in her gut Sharon thought she had a good idea where he was heading with his story. She contemplated telling him to stop but didn't. If nothing else, she had never closed her eyes when being faced with unpleasant facts about life.

"I had a few drinks, had chatted with a few women when this other guy came in… Well, to make a long, painful story short. His name was Jack, he was with two women. He said I looked like I needed a drink. I told him of Sharon, he told me he was married to one, too. That she was a fucking ice princess most of the time, worked for the police."  
Now it was Sharon who interrupted him.

"So you had a few drinks, discussed the nature of evil witches called Sharon and took these women somewhere to have fun?"

Why did it hurt so much to hear about something that had happened almost two decades ago? She knew Jack, knew he had been drinking, hadn't been faithful to her.

"We both left the bar with one woman each. I'm not into foursomes, lady. At least not when there's another guy around."

This sounded so much like Provenza, she nearly laughed out. Only the situation wasn't funny. What she needed now was time to process the news. She never had had any intention to let Jack back into her life, still... she had loved him, part of her always would.

"You don't believe me," Provenza said.

He didn't sound angry, just resigned.

"I do believe you. I... well, I'll go home now. It's been a long day."

She got up from the desk, intent to pack her belongings and drive home. A hot bath, a glass of wine and a book sounded good right now.

"Geez. Don't look like that."

"Like what?"

"As if someone kicked your puppy."

People usually told her she looked inscrutable so either her facade had crumpled or Provenza could read her better than she wanted him to.

"No one kicked any puppy. I'm tired, that's all."

"Sure. And I'm Santa. Why don't you try dating a real man for a change?"

"A real man? "

This whole conversation had a surreal quality about it.

"Yeah. You know, some people know how to treat a woman right."

"Do you?"

"Know how to wine and dine a woman? Yes, ma'am. I do. Might not seem that way, but I do."

Enough was enough. She wouldn't discuss dating protocol with Provenza. Over the last few months they had gotten to know each other better, had learned to deal with each other, get along. It was a far cry from discussing her personal life with him.

"I thank you for everything. I appreciate your candid words. But we better stop the discussion now."

"No one's discussing anything. I'm talking while you're trying to block out what I say."

She took a deep breath.

"Listen closely, Lieutenant. I have no plans to date anyone right now but if you happen to know where I'll find a real man, why don't you write me a memo. "

"You are insufferable," Provenza mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I said nothing."

"I didn't sound like nothing."

Hadn't she learned to just let him be when he had one of his moods and it wasn't actually affecting his work?

"You're so intent on being unhappy you don't even consider to try feeling good for a change."

"You're out of line."

"Am I? Why don't you try giving happiness a chance? And hell, listen to me. I might start to lose my marbles after all."

She shook her head. "Now that sounds more like it, but if you excuse me now..."

She turned her back, had walked two steps when he called out.

"Have dinner with me."

She stopped dead in her tracks, whirled around, only to find he was looking as shocked as she felt.

Dinner? With Provenza?


End file.
